i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
