I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
