Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
