I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
