there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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