i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
