hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I FOUND THE LEGS
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
