He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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