My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i think i have herpe
just one?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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