He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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