theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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