I'm going to jail i love you
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
