my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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