I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
