bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
