i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
