Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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