Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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