weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
honey bunches of taint.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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