Nicole vs. Life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I deserve this hangover.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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