I molested 6 butterflies tonight
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
