Plan B is the new Plan A
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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