Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
