Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We were destined to go to rehab together
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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