I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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