my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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