are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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