My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
