Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
