I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
