Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
