yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
