I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
