I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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