Rock
Scissors
Fuck
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
