With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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