So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
