So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
