i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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