AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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