The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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