Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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