I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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