It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I stole a fireplace last night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
