How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
