I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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