Dual....:-)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
