Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
