WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
