worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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