my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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