I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my being single is dangerous.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
