Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
