Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
