if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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