Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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