What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
