Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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