Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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