alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
