i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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