Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
