does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
