your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
