I wanna bring you to show and tell
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wish my penis had a tongue
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You made out with two different species that night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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