either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
