All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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