I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
