don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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