Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
