Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize