i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize