In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
