garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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